Partying In Merced: The Thin Line Between Fun and Disaster

October 1, 2013 /

Photo: Alyssa Castro

by Alyssa Castro

 

 

 

 

Editor’s Note: This story is published in We’Ced Youth Magazine Issue #3

As I walk into a random house I’m greeted by smiling faces. All around me are friends, united in a common purpose — to have a good time, by any means necessary.

The party dies down and the friends I came with find me. After teasing me for puking, they help me get back in the car. That doesn’t mean the night is over though. Depending on the group I’m with, I’ll either get a chance to go home and recuperate or head toward another party.

Reality escapes me and I’m lost in the moment. I soon regain my confidence to be social so I begin to circle the room, looking for new people to meet, a drink to fill my cup or something to smoke. As I walk around I notice a crowd of people surrounding a game of “beer pong” while others, smoking and drinking alcohol, are spread throughout the room.

The hours pass by and I lose track of what I’ve consumed. My want to socialize begins to wear off, and this tingling sensation in the back of my head begins to take control. I wander through the rooms, looking for an exit from this house filled with dozens of young people. I find the backyard. I’m leaning against the wall for support as everything around me begins to spin and I lean over. My stomach is clenching and I begin to vomit.

The party dies down and the friends I came with find me. After teasing me for puking, they help me get back in the car. That doesn’t mean the night is over though. Depending on the group I’m with, I’ll either get a chance to go home and recuperate or head toward another party. My head is killing me and my stomach is weak but I had a fun night, surrounded by friends…

It is a well-known fact that young people in Merced have limited social options, which is why so many of them turn to partying. But the nights don’t always end up like mine — not everyone vomits, and not everyone gets home safe.

Matthew Fisher, 19, was one of three people shot and killed during a recent shooting at a party in the neighboring town of Atwater. The other two young people who lost their lives were Samantha Parreira, 16, and Bernabed Hernandez-Canela, 18. Local authorities say the shooting was gang-related, but whether the victims had any connections with gangs is still in question. I did hear through friends that shots were fired after a confrontation, when a group of gang-affiliated folks approached rival gang members at a party near a residence. Regardless of who did the shooting and why, my condolences go out to the families and friends of those teens.

“People use parties as an excuse to drink and act irrationally, to act on their unspoken intentions,” says Aleria Crocker, 20, who had her share of party experiences. “Boys getting girls drunk and taking advantage of them; people getting drunk and starting fights. There are often hard drugs at parties, too.”

It’s unknown what other factors may have contributed to the shootings at that party, but my friend Daniel Pabst, 20, has his own ideas about why the party scene in Merced is known for being wild, and why things can quickly go from being fun to out of control.

“We don’t always have a lot of money to do a lot of things, and sometimes when we do have the money, we want to use it to get together and… buy alcohol, weed or thizz (ecstasy),” he says. “We’ve learned [how to] to occupy ourselves. And in a group of friends, [partying] at a house has been the way to go.”

For some, what begins as a casual experimentation with drugs or alcohol at a party can quickly escalate into a full-blown lifestyle change. Sometimes, a person may never even come back to reality. The risk of developing an addiction that will last a lifetime is ever-present. Yet these are pitfalls rarely considered by youth, when they’re in the moment.

“People use parties as an excuse to drink and act irrationally, to act on their unspoken intentions,” says Aleria Crocker, 20, who had her share of party experiences. “Boys getting girls drunk and taking advantage of them; people getting drunk and starting fights. There are often hard drugs at parties, too.” The parties, says Aleria, are also places where dealers go to score new customers, handing out drug samples along with their phone number to partygoers.

 

The most dangerous parties are the more orchestrated, larger affairs, where “the music is usually on full blast because no one actually has anything to say and the lights are dim because everyone is grinding on each other,” she says.

I think it’s important for the family members and friends of young people to understand that being exposed to the party scene — and the drugs and alcohol that come along with that — is not an uncommon experience for youth, especially in a town like Merced.

Still, says Aleria, not all parties in Merced are dangerous. “There are good parties. When an actual friend calls you up and you go to their house with more friends, and drink and talk and laugh. Play beer pong, smoke. The parties where people care about you, will make sure you don’t over-drink, or take care of you if you end up getting sick, and give you a place to sleep it off. It all depends on the crowd you choose.”

I think it’s important for the family members and friends of young people to understand that being exposed to the party scene — and the drugs and alcohol that come along with that — is not an uncommon experience for youth, especially in a town like Merced. Being aware of that is the first step to keeping your daughter, son, cousin, nephew, niece, friend or relative safe and having fun.

As for other young people, I find that using a bit of my common sense and trusting my intuition has been helpful. If you don’t feel safe for any reason at a party, then do your best to leave that place and continue the fun elsewhere.

A version of this article appears in We’Ced #3 under the title “Partying In Merced.”

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