We moved to my uncle’s house in Turlock, it was really quiet there. There, if you were bad, you got beat with a belt or a hand. At school, I was the baddest boy around. I would get into fight and say mean things to people that I didn’t know. Once summer hit though, I would get to go to my grandmother’s house. She would hear about me getting in trouble but she never held it against me.

One time, when I was there, I saw my grandfather cheat on my grandmother with some lady. My grandmother never knew, she would ask me once in a while, “Is your grandpa cheating on me?” I would always deny it but I hated lying to my grandmother. A few days after I told her that my grandfather was cheating on her and she said she knew. I was surprised. I asked her how she knew and she said she was grown and there was a lot she knew.

My grandmother started living with us. When my grandfather would get upset, he would hit her, so she came with us. It was great! I got away with a lot more than before but my mom and grandmother would always be arguing. My grandmother promised to quit smoking but she didn’t though. She said it was my mom’s fault she had to smoke and drink. So she kept on smoking and drinking. She didn’t know she had cancer. When she went to the doctor and found out, she was sad and she didn’t want to tell the family. She didn’t tell us until she was really sick. When she told us she had cancer, we were sad but we didn’t get too down. We told her we’d help her out as much as we could.

[pullquote_right]

I remember a thanksgiving day when my grandmother was really sick. My mom was fighting with my grandmother and saying mean things to her. I went into my grandmother’s room and she asked me to give her a pen. I got her one and she tried to cut herself with it. My mom came in the room and took the pen from her.

[/pullquote_right]

I remember a thanksgiving day when my grandmother was really sick. My mom was fighting with my grandmother and saying mean things to her. I went into my grandmother’s room and she asked me to give her a pen. I got her one and she tried to cut herself with it. My mom came in the room and took the pen from her. Later that night my mom was still fighting with her. I went into my grandmother’s room again and saw her lying in her bed. I saw blood coming from her mouth, I ran out and got my uncle who came rushing to her room and started to do CPR. I was scared. I went to a friend’s house and told them what happened to my grandmother. They called the cops and the cops came and took my grandmother to the hospital. The worst possible news was sent to us: my grandmother had passed away.

I was very hurt. I cried every night, hoping she would be with me. I didn’t eat much and I could barely sleep. As soon as that happened the whole house started to change. I started to hang out with the wrong crowd, I felt lonely without my grandmother. I started to smoke weed and hang out with gangs, I didn’t care much about school, in fact I wanted to drop out. My uncle was on me though, he may have hit me a couple of times but he helped me change. He taught me how to be man and not a follower.

Slowly but surely, I started to get better in school. I got in less and less trouble, I stopped fighting and became an A and B student and I started playing sports like basketball. I started to look for ways to get involved in my community and that’s how I found out about BHC. Now I’m in We’Ced and I’m glad I have a place to share my feelings. I also write poetry to express myself. I’m glad that even in spite of everything I’ve been through, I’ve changed for the better and I’m getting along better with my mom and family too.

Tags: family, growing up, spotlight