By A Former Sad Girl
Picture via Flickr
Not so long ago, I found out my parents were having difficulties in their relationship. I know that divorced parents are very common nowadays, but the realization that they were no longer the couple they used to be affected me.
I don’t feel like the person I used to be and I miss that. I used to be a really happy person and pretty positive. I was the one who would counter other people’s sadness, but now I don’t feel capable of doing that.
I have so many questions but I am afraid to ask my parents because in reality I don’t want to know the answer.
The day I found out they were having problems, my dad told me he was going to leave the house for a while. “I need to leave, to stay away for a while,” were his exact words. That day I couldn’t stop crying.
As the weeks passed, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry so much for something that wasn’t my fault. And I can’t say that I haven’t cried because I have. But I’m less sensitive about my parents’ situation than I was that first day. I actually find it annoying now when they argue, which is something I never thought I would feel towards them.
I know friends and family members with divorced parents who complain about constantly going from one parent to the other. Every time I heard this, I would appreciate my parents being together.
Now, all I really want is for them to divorce. I know that my sisters and I are part of the reason they still live under the same roof. They think by staying together they won’t hurt us, but that’s not completely true. They are hurting us more by showing their dislike for one another.
It wasn’t easy facing this reality. What hurt the most was the fact that I honestly believed my parents would stay together forever.
What I’ve learned is how in life certain expectations can all of a sudden shift and become something you don’t anticipate or want. You just have to make the best out of it and learn from the experience.
I’ve read that kids with divorced parents end up with more psychological problems than those who have lost one of their parents. That might be true, but if you asked me what a positive future for my family looked like, I would say that my parents go their separate ways on good terms. I would want both of them to get along and be able to see my sisters and me equally without having to fight over us. Divorce is painful, for parents and kids. But it’s how the parents separate that can affect kids most.
If you are having trouble coping with a divorce, please seek help. You are not alone. You can visit the Merced Network of Care here.