By A Former Sad Girl
Photo via Flickr
Editor’s Note: In this story, “Sad Girl” continues sharing her experience as she copes with the divorce of her parents. Determined to stay strong for her siblings and well-being, she has come to terms with the separation of her family. You can read her previous story here.
My parents recently decided to go their separate ways. Honestly, I thought it was going to be better as soon as they both agreed to separate, but it doesn’t seem to have made a difference.
They literally argue everyday for the simplest things. I see how they look for every defect in each other. I’ve often had to stop them from their yelling because my sisters end up crying. I feel as if I’m the one who has in some way “control” over things at home.
They have both lost their way in handling their separation.
My mom complains about my dad to me as if I can make him change. All she has to say about him are negative comments. She doesn’t understand that the more she talks about my dad, the more it makes me feel irritated about what she has to say. Some days I can’t handle listening to her.
My dad, on the other hand, acts as if my sisters and I are going to be rejecting him in some way when they begin to start living apart. The initial plan was for us to move out with my mom and visit him on the weekends, but all of a sudden he starts to say my mom is trying to set us against him and that he wants us to spend equal time with him. He worries we will begin to cut him out of our lives completely.
My mom is currently looking for a job and a place for us to live. The fact that she never attended school makes it difficult. She has applied to different restaurants and stores, but all have so far been rejecting her application. My dad plans to stay in the same house we’ve been living for the past six years.
My sisters constantly ask me what to do and it frustrates me because I have no idea. I find myself not only thinking of what I want and what I’d rather do, but also what’s best for the well being of my little sisters. They are young and don’t understand what is going on with their parents. All they know is that mom and dad no longer hug or kiss.
I don’t mention or ask them for their opinion on any of this for the simple fact that they are too young to even decide. Not only that, but I wouldn’t want them worrying about what might happen each new day. At some point, I know I will have to sit with them and try to explain our relationship with our newly “divorced” parents. I know they want answers just as I did in the beginning.