I guess what I’m trying to say is there have always been problems in my head and still are. I need help to keep steady and grounded and I’m not faking it to get attention. I’m just too scared to tell what’s going on because often times you all think it’s for attention and that makes me feel worse inside.
My life wasn’t easy, in fact to this day it’s not easy. One day, I decided I had enough and got myself out of the gang lifestyle and tried to begin flipping my life around. I don’t want to end up like my dad, in jail and not around my family.
Now that my sister and my brother in law gave me their opinion and their personal experiences of what happened in the army, I’ve changed my mind now. I’m just going to stay with my dad and help him in his agriculture company. I will major in Chemistry or Pomology.
I never paid too much attention to the recruiters. I’d usually end the conversation quickly or dodge their questions. I thought recruiters would pressure people into joining the military. I felt they were trying to fill their quotas and with limited time to fill them it makes it easier to target low-income families where the people are more likely to need the jobs, money and education the military can offer.
Sure the parents should be controlling what their kids should eat and make the right choice, but the constant exposure of advertisement and promotion often sways ones judgment. Fast food is part of the American culture and has a strong present in Merced. Should Merced as a whole try to control the influence of fast food advertising among Merced’s young people or just let this be?
A safe stabilized home for our families, like a plant plotted in the richest soil on Earth, is what we desire. A safe community for everyone, like the fertilizers that protects us against from harm, is what we desire. A Merced that is like a plant showered with the love of the rain, soil, oxygen, and sunlight, is what we desire.
Being homeless affects you mentally, to be honest. It’s depressing not being able to have a bed to sleep in each night. Sleeping on floors can be uncomfortable and painful after a while. Not having clothes is another problem. Going to school with dirty clothes or the same outfit I wore the day before made me feel like less of a person.
I’ve heard it so many times, “I understand what you’re going through,” but to be honest that’s a bunch of bull shark. I know that because I don’t even understand myself. Sometimes I think I’m just a confused, scared little kid.
Not knowing why I feel these feelings and I’m a boy is just so frustrating. Being young, around the age of five, you don’t worry about things like sexual identity.
On June 14, 2012, We'Ced Youth Media presented their first magazine to the public. Their launch celebration showed off the new youth voice of Merced and over 200 people attended.
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